To Dear,
Since X'mas 2008 >>New Year 2009>>CNY 2009 to the current Valentine's Day, Life had been truly difficult for me.
You may not realise or may had misunderstood me. There may be a lot of small fights going on, But i had never want to control your life, cos' i know i am incapable of doing that.
I know whatever i say now, in your opinion is only excuses. I appear in your life without a motive, and when i do say i love u, i really mean it.
your worries of being a burden is only extra.i had never felt that being with you is a chore. People who are not in our shoes they don't understand. They have freedom of speech, and this freedom caused them to speak rubbish that stained our relationship. There is never a moment i felt embarrassed being with you. In contrast, if my friend do ask, i talk to them about you with pride.
At times, i felt that i am the one who embarrassed you. My look/body is not even of 'average' standard to you & your friends. I wanted to blend in to your circle of friend, i tried but is not easy. I am just not sociable enough.
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Do you know that i am not upset that u keep going out? I am happy that you are willing to get out of your safety zone.(house). There is never a permit require from me. I am just worried about your health from all those abusive drinking.
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. The recent matter about your Gd Friend - I am just irritated that a small harmless chat, resulted in her taking down screen shots and send it over to you. I had trusted and that why when i am sad, i share my sorrow with her. By sending stuff to you, it just make the whole matter worse.
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I am trying all means, or even beyone my means just to be with you.
but ..you are just thinking differently.
p/S: i didnt peep at all your chat history. U leave it on the desktop and i just happens to see. It wasnt intentionally.
